Making Progress

As the weeks pass I’m beginning to use my planner more and more and I’m so excited to be able to say that. My motivation is increasing day by day allowing me to check off almost every item on my to do list. My planner in reality is just serving its purpose, but I’ve been planning for about two years now and just recently started successfully doing so.
Keeping up with cleaning is something I’ve always struggled with. I’d rather do most anything else.. But recently, the night before, I’ve been creating my to do list and creating a weekly cleaning list, both of which I’ve been completing more of. I’m not positive whether it’s enjoying creating my own inserts, doodling out my plans, or what exactly it could be, but I’m going to run with it.
Hopefully it sticks and all the time and energy I’m placing into my planner will pay off. I’m not letting my hopes get too high just yet though, I still have plenty to overcome.

My Overly Hopeful Goals for the New Year.

The New Year has begun which means it’s also time to set resolutions or goals for the new year. This year I’m going to try to keep it simple, with attainable and realistic goals.
The first goal I have for 2017 has to probably be the most cliché one to have, but it is something I truly would like to work on, my eating habits. While I am trying not to be unrealistic in thinking that I’m going to give up all unhealthy foods, but I need to cut back on the chips and pop and replace them with more of a variety of fruits and veggies. Also, it couldn’t hurt to include a wider variety of meats.
Aidan deserves to have a healthy, happy, alert mom for as long as he can. My eating habits leave me feeling groggy often and with a major lack of energy.
The addition of more fruits, veggies, and meat is my main goal for the year I also want to enjoy my hobby and stick to it more. I enjoy the whole process of planning, but more often than not, I let my procrastination get the best of me. I want to keep up with my planner not only for stability in this crazy mess that is my life, but along with the planning process comes my creativity in creating the inserts, stickers, stencils, ect.
Even though I rarely keep to my exact plans, planning relaxes me. I love almost every moment oddly enough. Of course, I’ve always had a thing for pens and paper so to me this makes sense.
Lastly, I want to get out more. With friends, family, or even just Aidan and I.
I’ve let myself become a bit of a hermit crab. Constantly staying at home for absolutely no reason. It’s time to stop letting myself sit around and mope or hide from the rest of the world. Even if after a long day in fast food I no longer want to be within two feet of another person I didn’t create, I need to socialize.
This year my goals are simple, so simple that I’ll have no reason not to successfully reach each one. But knowing myself, I’ll find some excuse that justifies me procrastinating my goals.

In need of superhuman abilities.

Sometimes I worry I may be bipolar. My emotions have the ability to change within seconds. I often start off feeling so annoyed/ angry and all of the sudden it just fades and what was bothering me, no longer matters, or the other way around.
Most recently, I won’t lie, the stress has been mainly caused by Alex, his parents, and I all living together. It’s been quite a challenge for me to contain my emotions and I end up offending others without even trying. Sometimes I don’t do my best not to offend someone, but more often than not, I’m not trying to offend anyone.
I just want to have the fullest life I can and give my son the best of all I can, but I’ve been so stressed recently, between interfering parents, the need to find a new job, and determining care for Aidan if I get a new job… I feel as if I need superpowers to accomplish all I want to in a day.
Any advice of how to juggle it all would be welcome for this new mom.

Being a working mom.

I’d never thought I’d be the type of woman who wanted to stay at home and not work. Until I had Aidan, that is.. If Alex was making more money I would have stayed at home longer, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.
Leaving my baby, even with people I trust, is still one of the biggest challenges I’m facing throughout motherhood. Missing out on even the smallest moments makes my chest hurt and knowing I’ll never be able to go back and see these moments I missed.
Time is zooming past and I’m still stuck trying to buckle my seat belt.

I know I’ll never be fully satisfied with being away from my baby, but I truly hope sometime soon it becomes easier on me.

To the customer who apparently misunderstood me:

You simply wanted some ice and I understood what you were asking for all I was trying to do was inform you that I could give it to you in a cup or in the bag we have for our salads. I was NOT trying to be rude and I never asked what you needed the ice for, because I honestly couldn’t of cared less. I was simply just letting you know what we have so you could decide whether you wanted just a cup or a bag.
It was so unnecessary for you to hold up the drive thru to telling me to “get a manager, now”. Just to tell them how much you spend at our restaurant, how you shouldn’t need to tell me you needed the ice for a urine sample, and getting all rude like I cut off your pinkie toe.
I’m so sorry if I came across as if I was being rude, that wasn’t my intent, but I don’t appreciate how rude you were, and the people behind you didn’t appreciate their food getting cold while you bitched about something you were getting for free.
Also, if you thought you were going to get me in trouble, you didn’t, because I didn’t do anything wrong.
Hope your ice melted and your urine sample got warm. Have a wonderful day!

Stressed out and rambling.

We have had our apartment complex work on our ac 3 times now since Aidan was born… And yet I have it set at 70 and it’s 77 in our apartment…

Living on the 3rd floor I expect it to be maybe a couple degrees off, but this is getting ridiculous and our electric bill is often more than my mom’s 4 bedroom house. That’s ridiculous.

I’m so ready to move out of this place, but so not ready to have less than half the space I have here, and to be living with my in-laws. I’m not the easiest of people to live with and I already feel like Alex and I are going to be confined to a small room that’ll barely fit our bed and clothes.

Ugh, I’m rambling now, but I’m so stressed about almost everything I’m surprised my hair hasn’t started falling out.