I enjoy planning.
It’s silly considering I don’t really ever follow through with them, but it gives me peace. Lets me believe I’m going to better my life just by planning. In the end, I spend so much time planning what to do with my time, I never act the plans out.
Whether it be procrastination or just full blown laziness, but either way it frustrates even me to no end. I’m capable of more, I know I am. I guess to some extent I’m content avoiding life… Avoiding my problems.
I want so bad to stop getting lost in my own pity and off my ass to do something, anything, but there’s also that part of me that’s terrified of what lies ahead. I’ve let that terrified part of me rule my life. It’s pathetic, but I’m not sure exactly what to do to actually motivate myself to do more… What will finally get me off my ass!
Maybe one day I’ll stop being the crazy procrastinator.