I’ve been dreading this day since Aidan was born and I can’t say it’s fully because I’m afraid to be without him… I don’t think.. I’ve left him with mom overnight and was okay…?
I guess because I trust her, but going back to work felt different, more challenging and caused my chest to hurt… Leaving him every day for 7-8 hours kind of terrifies me. He’s my baby boy and I want to spend every moment with him… I don’t want to miss out on anything, but I know it’s not just that.
I feel guilty going back to just my fast food job when I could do better for my family. I feel guilty for still having no idea what I want to do in life besides be the best mother I can to Aidan.
I guess I’m having trouble wanting it all and fearing the steps ahead to get me even close to what I want.