How-to NOT accomplish goals.

First step, of course, is to create your list of goals, type them out and even make the page pretty and attention getting then print it out. Trying to remember to be realistic when setting goals is a rule of thumb. I.E. making a million dollars in a month when you only work fast food, that’s an unrealistic goal.
Next step includes using every procrastination technique you’ve mastered all throughout life. I start by telling myself I’ll begin working on my goals the next day, or next week, then quickly move on to just avoiding working on them all together and allowing myself to come up with excuses I know aren’t acceptable, even for myself.
I mope around in step two for about a week, sometimes even restart the step telling myself the next week will be different, knowing I’m lying to myself, being the procrastinator that I am.
Step three, now that you’ve avoided doing the things you wanted to accomplish, now’s the time to lie to yourself and start this whole process over. I guess you could say step three is repeat steps one and two.
Take these steps if you want to be anything like me and unsuccessfully accomplish all of your goals.

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