Boiling over.

I’ve always had a little problem speaking my mind when it comes to people other than those closest to me. Instead of getting my grievances off my chest, I just let them boil in my mind until they bubble over burning what’s closest and making a mess no one wants to clean up. I hate that I do it and I’m not exactly sure why I do it, but I do. This causes me to be stressed out, angry, and unhappy.

Working on lowering my stress is one of my top priorities right now because I’m tired of being so unhappy. Thinking about what leads me to high stress I realized how much I hold in. Just recently I’ve been holding back all my annoyances at my job. I get annoyed because I’ve been placed in the same position 90% of the time I’ve worked for almost a year and I’ve now began to hate this position. I have told a majority of the managers, if not all of them, how I feel about said position. Even if I didn’t, you can see it on my face when I’m in this position or when the manager tells me I’m going to this position.. When the manager sees the look on my face, I’m always given their bull crap excuse that they have nobody else.

In my opinion, it sounds like they need to train some people for this position and yet, I could probably count on one hand the number of people they have trained this position to since I started being placed here. The problem is, I don’t bitch like most of my coworkers do and I do my job even if I’m pissed, so they have nothing persuading them to put me anywhere else. Instead of being rewarded for my good/hard work it feels like I’m being punished.

Now, I know all of my problems at work wouldn’t be solved if I spoke my mind. I know all of the managers know I hate this one position, but it seems most of them don’t even attempt to move me. I still feel as if speaking my mind would be better in the end because at least I’d be clearing my mind I’d also be able to know sooner whether pursuing other options would be a better idea. Instead I just sit back and deal.

April 21st, 2015 6:28pm



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