Clinical’s went so much better than I’d expected. I was terrified that I would hurt someone or feel so uncomfortable that I couldn’t do it or I’d make the “I’m disgusted” face. I moved past all of my uncomfort and fear and did it anyways! It felt great to be able to help. It was rewarding and not because I felt good about myself for doing something so many think as a chore, but because of the thanks from the residents and what I learned from them. They were all so sweet! Even the ones that were combative I just wanted to help more!
The residents were so different than I expected. I guess I just had this unrealistic picture of elders being discreet and more on the appropriate side I guess. Your elders saying “don’t touch my pussy!”, just doesn’t cross your mind. In fact, it’s so far from it that you never even picture the two in the same category let alone sentence. Yet some of the residents still talked like some of the teenagers I know. It was shocking, but hard not to find funny because I just did not expect it.
Avoiding this field of work out of fear was definitely the wrong choice on my part. I’m going to have a hard time getting attached to the residents and them passing, or the patients as they will probably be called in the hospital setting, but I feel like this is the type of work I will be good at. This is where I feel I am needed and I’m excited, yet still nervous to get started.